I Can’t Wait for Baby #2 So I Can Start Sleeping Again

December 24, 2016 0

I Can’t Wait for Baby #2 So I Can Start Sleeping Again As the holidays descend upon us, Kristen and I are also in the final stages of our (okay, her) 2nd pregnancy. I’m obviously happy to be pregnant again, especially after our first pregnancy was preceded by a soul crushing struggle with infertility (NO, SPELLCHECK, I DID NOT MEAN […]

20 Questions with a Woman in Labor (and Her Turd of a Husband)

September 13, 2016 0

20 Questions with a Woman in Labor (and Her Turd of a Husband) When your best friend tells you that he and his wife are pregnant, you are happy for them and commit to being supportive. But when your best friend Eric is the perpetual butt of all your jokes (lovingly), you begin scheming how you can get into the […]

Baby Oliver’s First Taste of Food

September 9, 2015 1

[Baby Watch: Day 147] Baby Oliver’s First Taste of Food A Drama in 10 Parts Part 1: Nerves Part 2: Too Fast!! Part 3: Dear God, the Vile Taste! Part 4: Papa Laughs at My Misfortune Part 5: An Unexplained Punishment? Part 6: Pretend You’re on a Sunny Beach Part 7: Finally, It is Over Part 8: Wait, IT ISN’T OVER?!? Part […]

The 4 Month Sleep Regression

August 11, 2015 2

[Baby Watch: Day 118] I have not blogged in over two weeks. This is not because I am lazy or bored with the whole blogging thing. This is because I have been clinging to the very edges of sanity as the dreaded 4 Month Sleep Regression (aka “Baby Apocalypse”) has gripped our formerly lovely child. He is no longer Oliver, […]

101 Things I Have Learned as a Stay-At-Home Dad

July 25, 2015 0

[Baby Watch: Day 101] In honor of Baby Oliver’s 101st day of life . . . here are 101 things I have learned, mostly painfully, thus far as a new dad / stay-at-home dad / idiot savant. (Sure, I could have had this list ready on day 100, cause 101 is a weird number . . . but some day, […]

6 Things You Should’ve Told Me About Being a Parent

July 16, 2015 3

[Baby Watch: Day 92] I mean, we’re friends, right? Well then why didn’t any of you jerks tell us the truth about raising a baby?!? All the vaguely mild warnings you gave us were vastly overshadowed by the endless cute stories and the uplifting “it will give your life meaning” statements. When you did tell us about the problems you […]

Murdered by Tickles

May 30, 2015 0

[Baby Watch: Day 45] How does he love me?  Let me count the ways . . . . . . . . zero.  He loves me zero ways.  Or at least that’s how it seems. As Kristen tells me, it is 100% normal for a newborn to gravitate towards their mothers in their first months in the world.  Apparently they […]

My Son’s Guidebook to Eating

May 25, 2015 0

[Baby Watch: Day 40] Various people, my wife included, have characterized our son as a “good eater.”  Personally, I think they’re playing fast and loose with the word “good.”  Calling him a good eater is like calling me a good marathon runner.  Sure, given enough time, I could walk / jog / saunter / amble / meander my way to 26.2 […]

Baby Oliver’s 1st Month Greatest Hits

May 15, 2015 0

[Baby Watch: Day 30] 1 month in. People ask if Kristen and I are getting a decent amount of sleep. If they have kids, I know they’re asking in jest, trying to get the same rise out of me that people once got out of them. If they don’t have kids, I can’t help but laugh at their silliness. I […]

The Search History on Our Home Computer

April 27, 2015 1

[Baby Watch: Day 12] The best way to describe the last few days of our son’s life is to look through the search history on our home computer. Searches from Saturday AM: “newborn hiccups” “violent newborn hiccups” “what is gripe water” “where to get gripe water” “how to calm baby with hiccups” “free kenny g music” “kenny g hair” “why […]

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