[Pregnancy Day 271]
We had our 39 week appointment this morning at 7 am. (There’s a 7 am now! Who knew!) Our doctor told us that Kristen is 2 cm dilated, 50% effaced, and the baby is minus 2 station. I guess those are all good and normal things, and they basically mean that A.) Kristen is progressing nicely and B.) The world of gynecology is deeply rooted in Star Trek level dorkiness.
Captain Kirk: “Spock, take us to minus 2 station, 50% effacement, and keep the bow plane dilated to 2 cm.”
But, near the end of the exam, the previously very affable doctor said perhaps the strangest thing I’ve ever heard in my life. In the middle of his exam of Kristen’s lady business he asked, “Do you want me to stir things up a bit?”
Me, “What’s that now?”
Doctor grins widely.
So, it turns out that there’s something called “stripping the membranes,” which basically means the doctor uses his/her finger to separate the amniotic sac from the wall of her uterus, and I guess it’s pretty normal to help jumpstart contractions, but I’m definitely considering researching PTSD right now in an attempt to self-diagnose the horrible flashbacks I’m having to the time when an elderly gentlemen asked my wife and I if we wanted to mix things up a bit.
I mean, you can at least buy us a drink first.
Anyhow, spoiler alert, Kristen politely declined, as she didn’t want to spark a week early labor. Instead, she’s soldiering on with her general uncomfortableness in an attempt to appease her mother’s
hostile threats gentle requests to not have the baby before Easter, and my steadfast demands loving jokes that I not miss my yearly fantasy baseball draft.