The Chest of Broken Dreams

[Pregnancy Day 255]

Kristen has an old hope chest that we planned to use in the baby’s nursery for blankets or toys or whatever other things babies need but don’t need.  The chest is in good shape but is covered in ornate paintings of pink flowers and whatnot, so it needed a good coat of white paint.

“I’ll just get some white spray paint and give it a quick once over,” I thought.  “That will be so much easier.”

Turns out, I have no idea how to successfully spray paint.  Couple that with a windy day and you have all the makings of one nearly ruined hope chest.  To describe the paint job . . . think of the TV show Survivor.  Imagine Kristen and I are doing one of those immunity challenges where I’m blindfolded and she has to direct me to complete a task.  She tells me to walk forward 5 paces, bend down and spray paint back and forth, only I’m six inches too far to the right and my arm isn’t extended far enough so I’m getting more paint on my shoes than anything else.

I’m not sure that a splotchier, runnier, more lopsided spray painting job could be physically accomplished, even if a person were trying.  At one point the wind got ahold of the corner of the tarp that I was painting on, flipping it directly onto the top of the freshly painted chest.  Of course I didn’t notice for several minutes.  By that time the tarp had begun to mesh with the paint permanently – ripping it off created several holes in the paint and somehow left in its wake a thousand tiny particles of blue cloth.  Before it was all over I’d used 2 full cans of spray paint (each intended for a surface area twice the size of the chest), I’d given up then un-given up at least a dozen times, and my trigger finger was so sore and shaky from depressing the spray button that later in the evening I could not successfully manipulate the controls on our microwave.

In the end I eventually sanded off half of what I’d done and just painted over it with normal paint like I should have in the first place.  Hope chest my foot.  It will forever be “The Chest of Broken Dreams (and blankets).”

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