I Can’t Wait for Baby #2 So I Can Start Sleeping Again

I Can’t Wait for Baby #2 So I Can Start Sleeping Again

As the holidays descend upon us, Kristen and I are also in the final stages of our (okay, her) 2nd pregnancy.

I’m obviously happy to be pregnant again, especially after our first pregnancy was preceded by a soul crushing struggle with infertility (NO, SPELLCHECK, I DID NOT MEAN TO TYPE INFIDELITY!). But, as we find ourselves in the home stretch, I can’t help but feel guilt, anxiety, and apprehension over several things. And, of course, this means I’m getting next to no restful sleep. I may be the only person on Earth who is excited for their second baby to arrive so they can START sleeping well again.

For the longest time I was losing sleep over the traditional things: will Kristen have a healthy pregnancy (she has), will it be a boy or girl (it’s another boy!), what should we name him (we chose Ellis Wesley), etc. But all that is settled and behind us. So, what am I losing sleep over now? I’m so glad you asked. (You didn’t ask, did you?)

  • I’m worried about the amount of time I will have to give up with Oliver. I feel like I will be cheating on him with another baby. Oliver is the kinda kid (all kids) who craves individual parental attention.  And, to be honest, I crave giving it to him. When we go to a friend’s house for a playdate, Oliver will often need to get away from the kid(s) for a minute to come over and get some mommy / daddy time. And we happily give it to him, because other peoples’ kids are gross, and because I often feel like getting away from the conversations I’m having too. “Sorry, Nate, I hate to do this, but I have to drag myself away from your opinions about Survivor so I can tend to my child.”
  • Am I going to be less excited for Ellis’s firsts? How can I not be? Forget the spastic tribal celebration we had when Oliver took his first steps; Kristen and I ogled over his brilliance for something as simple as a side-eyed glance at a toy for the first time. At that rate, Ellis is going to have to be some sort of prodigy to surpass Oliver, and I feel guilty that he won’t perceive himself as special.
  • I have another VeggieTales song stuck in my head.
  • There’s only so much time in the day. Between the 2 young kids, taking care of the house and family as a stay-at-home dad, working my part-time job, trying to maintain this blog for you ungrateful ne’er-do-wells, etc., I worry that I won’t have enough time to spend with my friends and my spouse. Obviously I will cut down on some time-consuming parts of my life (when Oliver was born I stopped watching hockey, I abandoned my fantasy Nascar team, and I finally kicked my pesky habit of working out). With baby #2 coming into the fold, I feel that I’ll need to downsize even further. In other words . . . sorry mom, but I can’t see you until Mother’s Day.

(I’M KIDDING, MOM. Someone please talk her off the ledge.)

  • Kristen’s back has been hurting, so she’s been using a massaging back pad thingy, and I’m afraid the vibrating is going to give Ellis brain damage. She insists that it won’t, because she used it when pregnant with Oliver. She tells me this as Oliver uses rhythmic forehead smashes to close a drawer.
  • We have new sheets. I don’t slide on them easily. When I get into bed, they cling to me like I’m sopping wet and trying to get out of a wetsuit. Is this a sign of high quality sheets or low quality? I’m gunna convince myself it’s a high quality problem. They’re high quality sheets. They’re high quality sheets. They’re . . . oh God, Kristen’s water is definitely going to break on our high quality sheets…
  • Oliver has started rubbing his penis on the space heater in his room.  It was semi-cute when he only acknowledged his penis to wave goodnight to it while putting his overnight diaper and PJs on, but now it’s becoming part and parcel with potential humping, and I am not on board.
  • Do I make a separate Facebook page for Ellis, or do I just combine his with Oliver’s? I don’t have time to control yet another Facebook page, but I also don’t want to make it seem too blatantly like Ellis is second fiddle, even though he definitely will be cause they’re no way he’ll be as cute as my first child and now I need to create a reminder to delete this post when Ellis learns to read.
  • Politics. Just . . . politics. (Sigh.)
  • I was at the post office, standing in line next to someone I went to high school with. She and I both had our kids, who were sort-of interacting with each other. But, as this woman and I made small talk about kids, neither of us acknowledged that we knew each other, and now I need to know if it’s because she was waiting for me to say something or if she genuinely didn’t recognize me. And, if it’s the latter option, WHY DIDN’T YOU RECOGNIZE ME?!?  DID I MAKE THAT LITTLE OF AN IMPACT ON YOU?!?
  • Christmas cards that have glitter. Is it too much to ask to buy glitter free greeting cards? The whole polite greeting is lost as I’m on my hands and knees scrubbing shiny freckles off the floor and giving spontaneous bathes to remove pizzazz from the depths of my child’s hair.
  • Kristen said, “What will you do if I die during my C-Section.” She said this RIGHT BEFORE WE WENT TO BED. The next morning she had the gall to follow it up with the question, “So, how’d you sleep?”
  • Somewhere in my living room is a small, loose nail. I dropped it while building a new dresser for Ellis’s room and still haven’t found it. I was just finishing up the dresser as the sun set, so I didn’t have great lighting to find the stupid thing on our patterned living room carpet. I searched with a flashlight, paranoid that my neighbors would call the police if they saw Watergate style flashlights in my house. I am definitely going to find it suddenly, painfully, while I hold a brand new Ellis, and it is going to ruin my world when I do. Of course, this is all my fault, as I did not follow the directions. You see, I was supposed to build this with two burly men in overalls and an ice pick:

  • The other day, Kristen and I had an argument about parenting limits regarding Oliver. Without giving you any context, I can tell you that she uttered the sentence, “But, it’s just a butter knife.”
  • The other day, Kristen and I had an argument about parenting limits regarding Oliver. Without giving you any context, I can tell you that she uttered the sentence, “But, he loves playing on the steps.”
  • The other day, Kristen and I had an argument about parenting limits regarding Oliver. Without giving you any context, I can tell you that she uttered the sentence, “But, a little arsenic never hurt anyone.”
  • One of those previous 3 anecdotes is untrue . . . and you don’t know which one . . . AND THAT’S EXACTLY THE POINT, KRISTEN!!!
  • In the horrible event of a house fire, which one of my children would I run for first? There’s no joke associated with, it’s just something that genuinely keeps me awake at night. But don’t worry, I’ve devised a strategy that involves the least number of steps to get to both cribs. Kristen will be in charge of saving my baseball card collection.
  • Christmas is December 25th, my brother in law’s birthday is December 31st, my mother’s birthday is January 6th, and my wife’s birthday is January 8th. And now Ellis’s due date is January 4th. You know how it’s financially tight on those months when all the quarterly utilities send their bills? EVERY HOLIDAY I HAVE TO BUY GIFTS FOR FALLS WITHIN A TWO WEEK PERIOD!!!
  • The last thing that has been keeping me awake is my desire to post this blog before Kristen goes into labor. At least that’s one thing I can check off my mental to-do list. Time to start my Christmas shopping.

Happy holidays, and I hope you (and we) have a great, anxiety free new years!

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